Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim... 

Last stint for the year. Let's go brave the winter again.

Fighting.

Both lutut dah kena cucuk. 

Hopefully it improves and lasts for more than 6 months. 

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim 

Macam² penyakit! Haih getting old mcm ni lah ya.... 

 That one thing that I didn't really prepare for, didn't really think of, and definitely didn't expect it now is menopausal. 

The symptoms have been there for quite sometime but I was assuming they are caused by hormonal imbalance. 

It is frustrating when you lost the focus and memory in the middle of doing something - you forget how many times have you washed your hands for wuduk, you suddenly stopped abruptly thinking you didn't wash your ubun2 and restart your wuduk, you lost khusyuk in solat forgetting you're in which rakaat, whether you duduk tahiyat awal ke tak, you wondered if you performed 3rakaat correctly for maghrib while performing isyak. You become so forgetful that you can't remember where you put your things, you easily forgot things that you just read or something people told you, few incidents of you didn't bring the laptop charger to work, missed a few dateline because you forgot to note it down. Countless of hot flashes, fatigued, and the list goes on. 

When you no longer have your menses, and you realized your womanhood is no longer functioning - your biological clock has really stopped.. and then you realized that you may have lost your libido. 

It is real I can't be in denial anymore... and yet the doctor told me to embrace and just let the nature takes its course. 

I am swallowing these and taking them as a blessing and hikmah dpd Dia. I know Allah jentik aku untuk pengajaran atau mungkin juga suatu pembalasan.