The question that I have been desperate for an answer all these while is no longer bothersome to me.

I was the problem. With me, everything was a struggle. Every scene seemed like a battlefield. Loving me was not easy, a lot of convincing needed.

I demanded and begged for passion, effort and attention too much. I needed to be convinced most of the time. It was overwhelming. It was suffocating. I know.

So when there's a love that was easier, peaceful, calmer, and needed no convincing, that's what was chosen. 

It took me years to understand this... An expensive lesson, a lifelong lesson...

I made peace with this.